MY PARENTING FAUX PAS MOMENTS - The Innocent, The Funny and The One I Cringe To Admit!
We’ve all been there since entering the realm of parenthood! It’s the land of the unknown and unfamiliar territory. Where you are guaranteed your fare share of mistakes and creating your own personal library of hilarious stories to share for years to come!
Each new day is as familiar as the last but at the same time full of new surprises and challenges. There truly is never a dull moment!
Now I know to many of you I may come across as often having my shit together, I won't lie… I do! At least 5% of the time haha!! But the other 95% I am just trying to get through each day with a coffee in hand and my sanity clinging on for dear life just the next mum!
Lately, life hasn’t been all that exciting but a series of funny events has happened this past month and as I’ve giggled at them with friends and family I thought why not document them here too. We can all use a good giggle every now and then. And maybe you’ve even experienced similar!
I’ll start with the most recent and end it with the most embarrassing one to date (I can’t even believe I’ve told anyone let alone sharing it here but it’s so worth the laugh).
Firstly, let’s talk the baby swings…
You know the ones at the park, the half circle rubber ones with the two holes and the chain belt?
Hubby and I have been taking A to the park since forever but only recently has she started to enjoy the swings… On this particular day we’d headed down to the park by the beach. As I sat on the grass to watch them play I almost spat my coffee out with laughter at the sight of my husband putting Alina into the baby swing backwards haha…
He popped her in with her legs through the holes!!! There she was, legs through those holes, her little body lunging forward and a look of uncertainty on her face that made me laugh harder. Hubby had a look on his face to match like ‘this can’t be right.’ complete with forehead sweat forming due to the embarrassment of his nut job wife in hysterical laughter and every other woman in the playground watching on!
As I came over to correct the situation, ‘You idiot, her legs don’t go through those holes.’ I heard a voice correct ME… ‘Yes they do, they’re actually meant to go through the holes and she’s meant to face the other way, her back to the chain.’ Sorry whaaaaat?
As I turned to look at who was giving said advice I was quite comforted to see she was clearly a seasoned mama, heavily pregnant, pushing a child on the swing next to Alina while another two were screaming at her from the top of the play ground ‘mum, muuuuuum’. She would definitely know her shit! I’ll listen to her!
So, there we were pushing Alina in the swing, her back to the chain and legs through the holes. After a few pushes she went flying out the back of the swing! Legs stuck in the holes! WTF?!
Ladies and gents, DO NOT PUT YOUR BABY’S LEGS THROUGH THOSE HOLES!
I don’t care who says what and how many kids they have, those holes are not leg holes haha!
If you saw my Insta stories last week you’d see I asked the question! One of you got back to me and mentioned the half circle swing with the holes and chain are to seat baby in with their belly to the chain and the rubber back is ‘back support.’ She sent me a photo of the swing which said on the back of the swing ‘Back Support’. With this info, I rest my case!
Second up! If you choose to breastfeed in a disabled toilet, make sure it’s a quick feed!!
I was at the shops with Alina and she was whinging up a storm because she was desperate for a feed and needed a nappy change. I raced from one end of the shop to the other trying to find a parent room that didn’t have a line. The more she was carrying on, the more anxious I became and I just wanted to feed my baby.
We got to the next hall of toilets and they were all engaged except for the disabled toilet. I looked at the pram, it wouldn't fit in a normal cubicle. I looked at A, red in the face with tears and thought stuff it! We’re going in.
We entered the cubicle and stood there awkwardly while the automatic door took a thousand years to close. Passers by looking in and smiling.. Yep, we’re so cute, about to feed on a toilet nawwwwww! The door finally locked and we had the privacy we needed to proceed.
We changed and fed successfully, I buckled A back into the pram and realized I needed a wee.. That's when it happened, pants around my ankles I bolted up right… BEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP… The bloody alarm was going off! I can’t remember if the door opened automatically or because I pushed every button on the door to try and keep it locked but there I was, standing in the disabled toilet, just pulled my pants up and hadn’t even flushed it yet when there they were! A security guard and a crowd of people standing there looking in asking if we were ok!
We’d obviously taken our time and because of the type of toilet it was after a certain amount of time of it being engaged an alarm sounds.
Now, I also don’t know if this is a coincidence but when we walked out of the cubicle I thought to myself ‘Holy Shit’. This alarm is really loud! We walked out of the hall and into the center where an alarm was sounding throughout the WHOLE shopping center. People were standing around looking at one another as if to say ‘wtf is going on.’
I slunk past the onlookers and off towards the exit when a man came on over the speaker system ‘we have looked into the alarm and we can confirm it was a false alarm.’
Now, hand to my heart. I solemnly swear to never use a disabled toilet again, I’m sure it was Karma punishing me for being cheeky and using it. The situation scarred me, I swear haha.
This next one has got to be my most cringeworthy mum moment yet… I’m not even so sure I can call it a ‘mum moment’. It was more of a ‘me’ moment…
I was heading out to meet my sister for lunch with Alina, the car ride was about 40 min and I tried to time it so that she would fall asleep in the pram when we got to our destination so I could enjoy my lunch date without having to chase after A the entire time. We rushed out the door and when I got onto the freeway I realized that I was BUSTING! ‘It’s cool’, I thought to myself. I can hold it for the car ride, I’ll just use the bathroom when we get to lunch.
However who was I kidding! Any type of car journey with a full bladder feels like eternal torture! Remember when you’re in the third trimester of pregnancy and you’re absolutely bursting but you have to hold it for a scan? You need to pee so bad that it feels like you’re going to explode and even breathing makes you feel like you’ll wet yourself at any moment? Well, that was me this particular day!
So when we pulled up into the car park and I turned behind me to see my beautiful little Alina sound asleep I wanted to scream! Now, I faced a predicament. You see Alina doesn't successfully transfer anymore, if I move her, he wakes! If she wakes before she’s ready, she’s in the worst mood EVER!
So, to ensure I had an enjoyable lunch date I decided to let her sleep and I’d meet my sis when Alina woke up!
This decision didn’t however work out for my full bladder situation… I was squirming, adjusting and trying not to think about it while watching the minutes pass on my phone haha. That’s when I looked to my nappy bag sitting on the passenger seat next to me….
Alina had a nappy sticking out of the zipper… Just pee in the nappy…
No, No, No, you can hold it!
NO I BLOODY CAN’T!!!
This my friends, is the day that I sat in my car, pulled my dress up and my knickers down and PEED IN A NAPPY!!! (well, peed in three nappies to be exact).
Shameeeeeeeeeeeeeee on me, I know! But I kid you not, I couldn't hold it!
I couldn’t leave the car because that would mean leaving my sleeping baby so I made the decision not to wake her because let’s face it, I’d prefer to PEE IN A NAPPY than wake a sleeping baby!!