They Are Only Little For So Long! - If I could go back and talk to my new-mum self...
In just over a week my beautiful babe will be ONE!!! I feel like it's happened so fast... It's the most cliche' saying but 'They are only little for so long.'
I swear I just blinked and my pregnancy was over. Just like that I became a mother and had a beautiful new born baby in my arms. And then I blinked again and that gorgeous, fragile, needy little newborn is now talking, walking circles around me and has such an awareness of the world around her! Honestly, where has the time gone?!
Does it mean that after next week I am to start refering to her as a toddler? My stomach literally just dropped at the though of that, I'm saying good bye to a time in our lives that not all that long ago I would only just daydream about. I thought I had time on my hands, I thought that it would get to a point where the craziness of becoming a new parent would die down and I'd be able to enjoy the stillness of time. To be able to soak in her babyhood and saviour it for a little longer.
I spent a lot of the newborn stage trying to stay above water. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed as a new mother and I spent a lot of those days wishing time away, waiting for it to become 'easier'. Truth be told, I regret that so much that my heart aches to think about it. As I'm writing this I have tears in my eyes.
If I could go back and talk to my new-mum self, I'd tell her this.
In a way you know what I'm about to tell you. But you don't understand it yet.
Your life is about to change in the most dramatic of ways, a little life is coming into the world and you're going to be solely responsible for keeping them alive. You've read a lot of books, watched TV show and documentary upon TV show and documentary, You've pinterested, youtubed and instagrammed your way through the third trimester. All of this 'research' has lead you to be extremely excited and stary eyed at what motherhood is going to be like. You can't wait to see her beautiful little face, hold her, read to her and bath her! You can't wait to watch her sleeping sound and peacefully in her nursery. You so look forward to making use of that cute pram that you assembled months ago and carrying around the baby bag you've packed and repacked hundreds of times!
What the women in your life and the mothers before you have forgotten to mention is that this new journey you're about to embark on is going to challenge you in ways you never imagined. It's going to shock you, at times make you feel isolated and alone, you will second guess yourself over and over and there will be tears more often than not! People will come and go, the ones you thought would stay and be apart of her life will fade away. A lot will change, which will scare you but it really isn't scary, it's going to be beautiful!
You will be so tired, worn down and exhausted that you'll feel like you may actually die! That's sleep deprivation, something you feel has taken over your life and yourself! You will find yourself again.
You'll feel a pressure to get your pre-baby body back! You'll also discover a new found love for your shape and quickly realise how unfair on yourself you were being. You'll also realise how much you've grown for simply realising that!!
You are about to experience a love that you could have never imagined possible, you will never again be the same! Everything that I told you above, the hard parts, they will be made to feel worth it! She is worth it all and everyday she'll show you why. She is about to teach you the meaning of life. It's to love another.
Don't feel pressued by outside infulences to do things a certain way. Don't compare yourself to other mothers and please, please don't compare your baby to other babies. This is your journey, yours and hers. If she won't sleep, don't force her. If she needs you, be there. You'll feel like all you do is give of yourself, you'll feel frustrated and overhwelmed but remember, it will and it does get easier. You'll see!
She's only little for so long!
Love, Your future self xx