How to get into a more positive mindset

I love life, I honestly wake up most days with a smile on my face and a strong sense of gratitude no matter the situation.

We all know that it is so easy to fall into a negative way of thinking, it’s almost a default setting we have as human beings. To focus on what doesn’t make us feel good. Negative thoughts are so draining and keep us from being present in the moment and I’ve come to realise throughout my life that the more I give in to my negative thoughts, the stronger they become.

Someone I spoke to once explained it perfectly. Imagine a small ball rolling along the ground and as it rolls it becomes bigger and faster. That’s what one small negative thought can turn into, a huge speeding ball of yuckiness.

Then imagine what one small positive thought can become. If we only just change direction in our way of thinking.

For years (and still at times now) I was a very negative thinker. I was actually quite a negative person. It’s such a vicious cycle, living in a negative mindset. It’s extremely harmful. Negativity affects the way we process information and stops us from thinking clearly. We overreact more in stressful situations, due to negative thinking, it peaks anxiety because stress from negative thinking creates changes in the brain.

Over time I got so sick of being stuck in this vortex of self destruction. At the time I was abusing alcohol, I felt empty, numb and was constantly in a dark headspace. I knew something had to change within me, on a very deep level. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to enjoy each day, I wanted to live my life and feel gratitude. Not just in fleeting moments when things were going well but even in the ‘not so great times’. I wanted to be a more positive person.

I’m asked a lot how I stay so positive. Is it real? Do I have shitty days? How do I keep such a positive mindset?

Yes, it is real. Of course I have shitty days. I keep a positive mindset by practicing the below.

I’d like to share with you how I retrained my brain and became a more positive person. It took me a long time before this became a natural way of thinking for me. But, it eventually did and I am forever grateful I got here!

  1. Meditate. Not the ‘ommmmm’ type of meditation… For me, meditating is taking time out to really visualise what I am grateful for in my life. To really think about it and acknowledge all of the good that I have surrounding me in this very moment. My health, my family who love me, the roof over my head, food on the table, my hobby that I love being a form of income so that I can stay home and raise my children… The more I focus on things to be positive about, the more I find. This lead me to feel gratitude on a new level, to truly feel lucky for all that I have. The small things, that no one situation can take away from. So, I started each day with meditation.

  2. Surround yourself with positive people. Like attracts like. If you find yourself hanging around negative people, it is really going to reinforce that within you. That has meant for me at times, that I didn’t have many friends. I would much rather no friends than settle for people who don’t want to better themselves, people who bring others down or who don’t share the same values and ideals. For many years I felt extremely lonely but the second I stopped settling it opened the door to some truly incredible opportunities and I have met some of the most positive, inspiring and truly beautiful women who are now my closest friends.

  3. Don’t play the victim. We create our own life, we’re in control of how we react to situations. We always have the choice to make change happen, even in times where a situation feels unbearable there is always something that can be done to change direction.

  4. Help People. Be open and willing to help others, no matter how small the gesture it always feels good to do something nice for someone else. When I take the focus away from myself it always makes me feel better!

  5. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward!

  6. Change your thoughts! When you feel that negative response coming on, change it to something positive. There is always something positive to be found in ANY situation.

Download my Daily Gratitude Diary Here

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Emily TominiComment