I'm Dating Again!
I'm dating again!
Ok so there's this guy and he's really sexy, super funny, extremely smart, generous, caring and hands down the best kisser (and more) that I've ever had haha!
We actually met 10 years ago and just celebrated our third wedding anniversary... Did I mention he's my husband?!
Some say that after a certain amount of time with someone you have to make effort to keep the spark alive. That's true for some. For us, we've always had that spark there. I've not once questioned our feelings for one another. We're extremely passionate people and have never doubted how the other feels.
I have however, noticed over time that the business of life... becoming new parents and moving in with our parents has made it hard to find time for just us. We're still us and we still love each other but we felt like we'd recently gotten a little lost along the way.
I was defined by my role as mum. I lost 'Emily'. I'd get up each day and give all of myself to Alina, keep a household running and have been in the throws of starting a new business. By the end of each day I'd be absolutely depleted and exhausted, jumping into bed I'd give my beautiful man a kiss, tell him I love him and roll over and go to sleep.
I missed the intimacy in our relationship and I know he absolutely did too but neither of us would really bring it up. I'd go to bed thinking, I'll make more of an effort tomorrow... I'm just soooo tired!
Fast forward a few months and we were still in this weird relationship/parent limbo and I was always tiredddddd! I felt like if I wasn't pleasing everyone or meeting everyone's needs I was failing. I'd get so overwhelmed with guilt that it was wearing me down. I missed my man and I missed who I was aside from being Alina's mummy. So, I decided it was time to make some changes.
For so long I wasn't ready for Alina to be babysat. I couldn't stand the thought of being away from her. She also wasn't ready due to being breastfed etc and it's taken a lot of patience to get here. Since moving in with my in laws she's developed a beautiful bond with them and they're the most amazing grandparents! There's no one else I trust more to look after Alina. That also played a huge factor, trusting people with your child! For me, I had to learn to let go a little. Seeing Alina with Randall's mum daily gave me a lot more confidence that she'd be ok without me. It was harder for me than Alina haha.
Two weeks ago we had our first date night... Just the two of us and oh my goodness!!! It was bliss. I got to give my undivided attention to my husband and it felt so good! Just the little things like having a conversation, holding hands across the table because we didn't have to hold Alina back from ripping at flowers or glasses and cutlery haha. Not having to rush, being able to turn the music up loud in the car on the way home. The little things we used to do that I guess never realised we're all that important until we werent doing them! We missed Alina like crazy but it felt so damn good to just be together the two of us!
It's been a crazy 13 months! So much has changed and when you're first time parents you have no other choice than to hit the ground running and learn the lessons along the way. Sometimes you forget the other person and their needs because you're so focused on what you're going through, the challenges and the triumphs... it becomes all about Bub!
What I've come to realise is that in order for our family to be happy, I must be happy! My husband and I need to make time for each other and in return we're happier and Alina see's that and thrives off of it.
So, here we are... dating again! We've decided that once a week we will have a date night. Whether it's for an hour or a whole night, it's just going to be us. Reconnecting and remembering why we fell in love in the first place. Without our love, we never would have known a love like our beautiful Daughter!
It's been two dates since and it's made the world of difference. Sometimes all you need is a little bit of a relationship 'reset'! To show the other person they're still needed, desired and loved!
Now, our ten years is coming up and I'm feeling super romantic! Any ideas on how to celebrate?