Becoming a Mother
From the moment I found out we were expecting a baby girl I was hit with a barrage of different emotions. Excitement, elation and love are just a few but the most dominant was protection. From the start of my pregnancy I took on a protective role, I wanted this baby so badly regardless of the sex.
When I was 12 years old I lost my father to suicide. My childhood was quite difficult due to my dad’s battle with drugs and alcohol and I had always wanted and dreamed of a stable family environment growing up. So when it came to being ready to try for a baby I knew I wanted exactly that for her and I would spend the rest of my life putting her first.
When I met my husband I always knew I was not only with the perfect man for me, but the perfect man to raise a family with. We love and respect each other and share the same values when it comes life and to raising our little girl.
Being a girl and growing up without my father and that strong male presence in my life had left a void. Moments have come and gone and I have felt his loss strongly. The times a little girl needs her daddy, I didn’t have mine.
When I found out my daughter was on her way to us I automatically thought of the life she would have and how it would be so different to mine and it automatically filled my heart with so much love and excitement for her. She will experience the love, laughter and childhood that I crave for her. To be able to see her with my husband and to know she will have a healthy and stable relationship with the most important man in her life – her father, fills me with so much pride and joy already. I know that she will be celebrated by him every day and she’ll know love and how a man is to treat her. I look forward to all of the moments a head of us as a family and I know I’ll delight in the smallest of things.
The biggest blessing I take away from the experiences I’ve been through is that I know I will be the parent my child deserves. She is the biggest gift to both of us and I can’t wait to be her mother. To watch her grow into the person she is destined to be and love her unconditionally. The meaning of her name – Alina is Light and that is exactly what she is to me, my light!
Just to think that in 7 weeks’ time or less she will be in our arms!!